Every of us has sure emotions or anxieties we attempt to keep away from. One of many methods to get via life and be resilient is to deal with the optimistic, to remain current, and to keep away from getting wrapped up in negativity. Nevertheless, repressing sure sides of ourselves can have unintended destructive penalties. In our effort to keep away from emotional ache we might get ourselves trapped in self-defeating cycles.
As an Enneagram Three, I can simply fall into “robotic” mode after I’m confused – specializing in what I can do relatively than what I want. I can keep away from emotions of insecurity or ache by channeling all my efforts into indifferent productiveness. Nevertheless, this doesn’t depart me feeling fulfilled and pleased in the long term.
In in the present day’s article we’re exploring the sensation that every sort resists or hides from. This isn’t to say that these are unhealthy emotions or that you just shouldn’t really feel them. The truth is, it’s fairly the alternative. acknowledging and embracing all of our feelings is a crucial a part of being a wholesome, balanced particular person.
A part of entering into your fullness as a human being means acknowledging all the emotions you’ve gotten and processing them in a means that’s wholesome. On this article, I hope to not simply level out the emotions you resist, however give a wholesome tip for processing these emotions in a means that doesn’t really feel overwhelming.
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Right here’s the Feeling You Resist, Based mostly On Your Enneagram Kind
As an Enneagram One you resist recognizing your anger or pressure. To you, anger is a “unhealthy” emotion; one thing to be averted in any respect prices. Relatively than blow up or have a tantrum, you clench your fists, clamp your jaw down, and attempt to bottle all of it in.
In spite of everything, your core worry is of being evil or “unhealthy.” When you see anger as unhealthy, then you’ll be embracing your core worry by embracing anger.
However bottling up anger can result in all types of bodily pressure, psychological stress, and broken relationships as a result of resentment and bitterness.
How will you take care of anger in a wholesome means?
How will you keep current and course of this sense with out getting misplaced in nervousness?
Processing your anger includes acknowledging it after which releasing it in a means that doesn’t harm your self or others. Typically this could imply speaking to somebody you belief and sharing your emotions with them. It feels weak, however this is likely one of the pathways to development for you as a One.
One other technique to course of your anger is to put in writing a letter expressing all of your frustration. Then throw it away. Possibly there’s some reality in that letter that must be expressed, possibly not. However writing it out will enable you to course of it with out saying one thing you’ll remorse.
One other necessary factor to pay attention to is the way you maintain pressure and rigidity in your physique bodily. Over time, this pressure can result in persistent ache and well being issues. Prioritize therapeutic rest in your life. This could possibly be therapeutic massage, yoga, deep respiration, counseling, or easy stretching workouts. Once you really feel your self tensing up, take a couple of moments to tense and calm down your muscle mass one after the other or just breathe deeply.
Discover Out Extra About Enneagram Ones: The Enneagram 1 – The Perfectionist
As a Two you might be extremely centered on different individuals and their feelings and wishes. What you resist is recognizing your individual emotions about your self and your individual wants. At your core, you imagine that to be worthwhile and valued you have to be selfless. So in some ways you abandon the self in pursuit of being wanted by others.
By specializing in the wants and emotions of others you’ll be able to keep away from taking a look at your individual disappointments, your anger, or the methods you emotionally rely on different individuals. Over time, this could result in persistent self-neglect, burnout, resentment, or being overbearing or meddlesome.
How will you take care of your emotions in a wholesome means?
To remain current and course of your individual emotions with out getting misplaced in nervousness, follow self-honesty. This implies being brutally trustworthy with your self about your motivations, intentions, and wishes. Once you praise somebody, why are you doing it? Once you give to somebody, why are you doing it? Once you exhaust your self, why are you doing it?
As you course of your motivations, don’t beat your self up over what you discover. Self-compassion is important right here. No human has good motivations on a regular basis, and in the event you learn this whole article you’ll see that every Enneatype has their very own blind spots that they’re unconsciously avoiding.
Once you’re trustworthy with your self about your emotions and wishes, you can begin to set wholesome boundaries. This implies saying “no” when it is advisable, even when it would disappoint another person. It would imply recognizing while you’re exhausted and giving your self a scorching bathtub and a nap relatively than internet hosting a cocktail party or serving to a buddy out. It additionally means taking good care of your self emotionally and bodily.
Surprisingly, as you get to know your self and deal with your self you’ll end up being extra honestly compassionate with others. You’ll keep away from little aftertastes of resentment or bitterness while you give to others. And the individuals who love you’ll most likely really feel happier consequently.
Uncover Extra About Enneagram Twos: The Enneagram 2 – The Helper
Bold and decided, you’re somebody who longs to climb the ladder of success. Nevertheless, within the course of you have a tendency to withstand recognizing your individual emotions of vacancy or self-rejection. Deep down, you carry a heavy emotional burden. This burden is the sensation of not being valued for who you might be – solely feeling valued for what you do. You are inclined to mistrust love, loyalty, or friendship since you fear that at your core individuals don’t genuinely love you – you’re solely beloved so long as you’ll be able to keep “in your recreation.” Consequently, you are usually charming, aggressive, and image-conscious.
By staying centered on achievement and duties, you’ll be able to keep away from seeing painful emotions of rejection or disgrace. If different individuals admire you, then you may get superficial emotions of validation or acceptance. However on the finish of the day, all of it feels empty.
How will you acknowledge your inside emotions with out feeling misplaced, empty, or devastated?
First, it’s necessary to acknowledge while you’re burning your self out or “turning it on” for different individuals. Why are you exhausting your self? Why are you turning on the attraction? What wants are you making an attempt to satisfy by doing this?
Secondly, as you develop into extra self-aware, intention to make extra acutely aware selections. I urge you to make acutely aware selections for your self and never for others. Do one thing inventive since you need to, not as a result of it should impress anybody or examine off some mark in your to-do checklist. Spend no less than quarter-hour a day simply getting re-acquainted with your self and what you genuinely like and don’t like.
Lastly, follow being weak with somebody you belief. This may really feel overwhelming at first. Chances are you’ll worry rejection or disgrace (in truth, you most likely do). However the one technique to know you’re actually valued for who you might be and never what you do is to be who you might be. As you understand that your trusted buddy or members of the family are nonetheless there, nonetheless accepting you, you’ll begin to understand that you’ve an precise help system in place and never only a bunch of phony pals.
After all, in the event you aren’t positive who you’ll be able to belief, this entire step generally is a battle. Look to your pool of acquaintances and ask your self, “Who has been there for me throughout arduous occasions?” “Who has seen me at my worst and caught round?” “Who has been probably the most trustworthy with me?”
You would additionally contemplate speaking to a counselor in the event you’re feeling misplaced. A therapist will help you get in contact along with your emotions and be taught self-acceptance and belief in wholesome methods.
Discover Out Extra About Enneagram Three: The Enneagram Kind 3 – The Achiever
Intuitive and insightful, you’re somebody who needs to grasp the depth and depth of the human expertise. You enterprise into the darkness of your soul and face your demons – demons that others would attempt to keep away from in any respect prices. This bravery could make you extremely empathetic, genuine, and insightful – however it could possibly additionally take an emotional toll. It is because within the course of you might keep away from recognizing your individual optimistic qualities and the ties and similarities it’s important to different human beings.
You’ve all the time felt completely different; and in your early years this induced ache. Now, for a lot of Fours, that feeling of “otherness” turns into a house they take solace in. However it may be a lonely residence at occasions. And it may be a house that doesn’t let the sunshine in. However you’re afraid of letting others in, of feeling linked to others, after which shedding your self within the course of. You need to be seen for who you actually are, however you’re afraid of being rejected or deserted, not solely by others – however by your self.
How one can Let Positivity and Connection In:
Organising optimistic routines is likely one of the healthiest issues you are able to do as a 4. Take time to find the actions that convey you pleasure and a way of lightness and hope. Once you get up within the morning, open your shades and let the sunshine in. Throughout your lunch break take a stroll exterior. Earlier than mattress learn a e-book that has characters you relate to. These little hits of pleasure will help you are feeling just like the world is a brighter and extra hopeful place.
On high of that, take time to fact-check your self when your emotions appear darkish and isolating. When you end up feeling like no one likes you, ask your self why? Are the “why’s” based mostly on observable details? It’s good to be deeply feeling and intuitive, however typically as a 4 you might be vulnerable to leaping to darkish conclusions. Since you felt completely different or rejected in some methods as a baby you might sample that very same feeling into future relationships the place there aren’t any ill-intents or rejections really occurring.
Lastly, begin to discover the frequent values, wishes, desires, and hardships that you just share with others. It’s okay to be completely different, after all, however reconnecting with humanity in a optimistic means can also be important.
Discover Out Extra About Fours: The Enneagram 4 – The Individualist
Self-contained and analytical, you delight your self on being “heady” and pondering issues via. However in your need to remain in your head you fail to acknowledge your bodily presence, wants, and feelings. There’s a sense inside that in the event you can keep indifferent and observe every thing from some greater meta aircraft that you just’ll be “above” every thing. Staying cerebral and indifferent retains you from feeling the sharp ache of the bodily or emotional worlds.
At occasions your perspective can maintain you from getting carried away along with your emotions or getting wrapped up in minor emotional setbacks. However over time this detachment can result in bodily neglect, isolation, or emotional vacancy. Or you might wind up on the finish of your life seeing a number of ideas and only a few fulfilling experiences or relationships.
How one can Get In Contact with Your Physique and Feelings:
It’s simple to really feel such as you’re a mind with a bunch of hanging limbs that carry you from place to position. However your physique is a lot greater than that. Take a second to really feel precise gratitude in your bodily kind. Think about the entire issues your physique does for you every day – from retaining you alive to giving and receiving pleasure. Then actively work to include bodily experiences into your day. Whether or not you’re lifting weights, doing yoga, or just taking stroll – find time for bodily connection and consciousness. You’ll discover that over time you begin to really feel extra absolutely alive and awake to actuality and the wealthy experiences of life.
On high of that, dip your toes into exploring your actual feelings – even grief. It’s pure so that you can cut up off and detach your self out of your feelings. You don’t need to really feel their sharp ache or be managed by them. However bottling them up can result in even worse issues down the highway. Chances are you’ll reject relationships, really feel empty inside, or attempt to replenish all of your emotional wants with some sort of numbing agent.
In a protected and quiet place, permit your self to tune into your coronary heart and the feelings which might be locked up inside. You’ll be able to write down your emotions, or in the event you’re feeling particularly courageous you’ll be able to speak to a buddy or therapist about what you’re going via. Your feelings are bodily they usually have bodily impacts. Stress when bottled up can result in all types of well being issues. Grief when denied may cause critical despair. So take a step in direction of well being and wholeness by getting in contact with the feelings you’ve been operating from.
Discover Out Extra About Fives: The Enneagram Kind 5 – The Investigator
As a Six you might be all the time looking out for a way of safety or threats to that safety. Loyal and cautious, you usually have a sense of hysteria about your relationships and affiliations. You are worried about betrayal, rejection, and hazard. These emotions of hysteria can lead you to try to management each variable in your life so that you just’re by no means taken benefit of or caught off-guard. Nevertheless, within the course of you keep away from seeking to your individual inside steerage or recognizing the help you have already got in place. Chances are you’ll take a look at others, looking for weak hyperlinks of their help for you.
Most Sixes imagine that help is one thing they’ve to seek out exterior themselves. Whether or not they search out authority, monetary safety, or spiritual affiliation, they assume if they will simply discover the correct individuals or sources to belief then every thing might be okay. However this strategy really retains you from dealing with the insecurity that’s inside. It additionally retains you doubting your self and your inside voice and doubting others.
How one can Discover Assist and Safety From Inside:
With a view to steadiness out your tendency in direction of exterior help, begin by recognizing the ways in which you already provide your self emotional and religious help. Once you begin worrying about one thing and need exterior assurance, take a second to pause. Breathe deeply. Calm down your physique. Chances are you’ll hear a cacophony of voices vying in your consideration, telling you to fret, plan, or search steerage. However what does your coronary heart say? See in the event you can entry your inside steerage – the voice that isn’t panicking. This will likely take time, but it surely’s value making an attempt. Typically it may be useful to actually inform the opposite anxious voices that you’ll take care of them later, “I’ll deal with you. Are you able to maintain off for a second?” It might really feel humorous, however it could possibly enable you discover a calmer and extra centered sense of self.
On high of discovering your inside voice, it’s necessary to take time to calm down your self and get in tune along with your physique. Carve out time to follow self-care; take walks, swim, bake, take heed to music, backyard, spend time with a favourite pet. This will help you to really feel extra linked to your self and the world round you and may put you in a spot of extra calm when one thing goes mistaken.
Discover Out Extra About Sixes: The Enneagram 6 – The Loyalist
You’re somebody who’s all the time looking out for brand spanking new alternatives and potentialities. Stuffed with a zest for all times, many individuals flip to you for a very good time and a view of “the silver lining” in a scenario. What you are inclined to run away from are your individual emotions of ache or nervousness.
You would possibly scoff at this revelation. Anxiousness? You don’t pause to think about such issues since you don’t *have* nervousness! However when Seven’s decelerate and actually look inward, they usually discover that the worry, unhappiness or fear has been lurking within the background for fairly a while. You’ve simply been making an attempt to distract your self from it with your entire plans and actions. By overemphasizing your leisure, concepts, or experiences you attempt to pull consideration away from inside vacancy, grief, or worry.
You would possibly assume to your self, “Why ought to I attempt to face my anxieties? Why would I need to make myself uncomfortable in that means?” The reply is that by acknowledging the emotions that you just run away from, you’ll be able to really begin gaining a larger sense of freedom and stability. You’ll be able to develop into extra self-aware, extra insightful, and wiser about life. Once you run from distraction to distraction, you danger making impulsive errors and residing an escapist way of life that lacks that means. You additionally danger hurting different individuals due to probably egocentric, reckless selections.
How one can Join To Your Interior Emotions With out Getting Overwhelmed:
Enable your self to be nonetheless each day for no less than 10 minutes. It might sound overwhelming or foolish at first, however this is likely one of the methods you may get to know your self higher and acknowledge the emotions inside. Observe deep respiration. You are able to do this by focusing in your breath and counting from 1 to five in your head. Maintain your breath for 5 seconds, then exhale for 5 seconds. Throughout this time, discover if there are any emotions that come up for you.
Discover a protected and supportive individual or house to speak about what you’re feeling. This would possibly really feel weird at first since you are inclined to veer away from vulnerability, but it surely’s extraordinarily wholesome. Having an individual who generally is a sounding board and enable you course of your emotions may be immensely useful. They’ll most likely recognize the deeper degree of belief, honesty, and depth that you just’re bringing to the connection.
Lastly, when you end up feeling bored or impatient, take a second to investigate the underlying emotion behind it. What’s the stressed feeling that’s pushing you to discover a distraction? Is it worry, unhappiness, or one thing else? Naming the sensation will help you develop into extra conscious of your self and enable you to deal with that underlying worry. Typically you’ll be able to converse to that worry in a means that gives long-lasting reduction. You would additionally write down your emotions, and write down the explanations you not should be afraid or anxious. If there’s a professional concern or want that comes up, you’ll be able to write down any options that pop into your thoughts.
Discover Out Extra About Sevens: The Enneagram 7 – The Fanatic
You’re somebody who values power and energy, and also you are usually fairly daring in your selections. You’ve gotten a whole lot of power and are all the time pushing your self to the following aim or degree. What you are inclined to run away from is any want for nurturing or any place which may make you are feeling weak.
You imagine that it’s a dog-eat-dog world on the market, and it is advisable be the one on high. Chances are you’ll even imagine that in the event you let your self really feel weak, different individuals will make the most of you or use it towards you. So as a substitute of acknowledging your softer facet, you usually attempt to venture a troublesome persona and keep away from something which may make you seem weak or powerless.
However that is really a really limiting technique to be. You’ve gotten a lot potential for greatness that may solely come about by permitting your self to open up and take dangers.
How one can Embrace Wholesome Vulnerability:
Take a minute to grasp that vulnerability doesn’t equate to weak spot. It will probably really be an indication of power and braveness, because it takes some degree of belief in your self and different individuals earlier than you’ll be able to open up. It’s loads simpler (for you) to push issues down, act out, or embrace a troublesome, devil-may-care exterior.
Acknowledge the worry that comes with vulnerability however don’t let it management you. You’ll possible really feel scared and that’s okay, however keep in mind to deal with the potential for development over the short-term discomfort. See your openness and vulnerability as simply one other type of being powerful; the sort of toughness that comes with actual honesty within the face of emotional danger.
Discover somebody you’ll be able to belief; a buddy, member of the family, or perhaps a therapist who you’ll be able to divulge heart’s contents to. Ensure that they’re understanding, affected person and non-judgmental. Once you’re prepared, begin with the smaller issues till you are feeling comfy sufficient to speak about deeper points. It would really feel bizarre at first, and you might be tempted to run away, however know that it is going to be value it in the long run.
Discover Out Extra About Enneagram Eights: The Enneagram Eight – The Challenger
As a 9, you deal with creating a way of concord and peace inside you and round you. You take pleasure in a relaxed, open environment the place everyone seems to be contributing and getting alongside. Nevertheless, in your effort to seek out inside concord you’ll be able to typically keep away from seeing your inside power and capability. You may additionally attempt to ignore indicators that there are issues along with your family members or along with your setting itself.
As a 9 you need to deal with the optimistic and create an inside harmonious world the place no threats from the skin can contact you. Nevertheless, avoiding potential issues can create much more obstacles for your self in the long term. Shying away out of your true self can result in one-sided relationships, resentment, and anger.
How one can Embrace Your Genuine Interior Energy:
Perceive that battle isn’t all the time unhealthy. It’s a pure and needed a part of life. The truth is, battle can result in nearer and extra significant relationships. How will you have extra intimate relationships when the opposite individual doesn’t know what you’re all about? Respectful battle lets you present up as you actually are, to precise what you actually really feel, and to work out points truthfully and immediately.
Take time to evaluate what you really need in a scenario. Typically you’re so busy taking others’ wants and wishes into consideration that you just don’t even contemplate your individual. It’s solely later that you just really feel the burden and drain of not getting your wants met. Don’t be afraid to pause and ask for time to consider what you need in a scenario. It’s okay to ask others for time and to present your self house to replicate.
Be conscious of your emotional reactions when one thing threatens to disturb your peace. As a substitute of operating away or suppressing, take a step again and observe what’s happening inside you. Discover how your physique responds and observe the sensation objectively. This gives you a greater understanding of your wants and limits. If this course of is demanding, take a couple of moments to breathe and remind your self of your inside power.
By embracing your inside voice and understanding your individual wants, you’ll be able to transfer nearer to a world that’s actually peaceable, harmonious, and accepting of your self. You don’t should run away out of your emotions anymore. By understanding them, you’ll be able to create a protected house to discover them and develop. In spite of everything, development is the important thing to true inside peace.
Discover Out Extra About Nines: The Enneagram Kind 9 – The Peacemaker
What Are Your Ideas?
Did this text encourage your or encourage you in any means? Do you’ve gotten any options for different individuals along with your Enneagram sort? Tell us within the feedback!
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